Baseball Pool Writings

Still working at moving over my pool content - don't worry, these few posts represent over a year's worth of material, and are not indicative of what this blog will look like in the future in terms of baseball-to-other stuff ratios.

But this one was a personal favourite, from my "Postcards From..." series. This was dedicated to our commish, Cary. I had to replicate the picture to give the full effect - again, not inidicative of future gay porn-to-non gay porn ratios expected here.

I'm in Eurpore with these guys and we're all eating bananas!

Hi guys! It's me, Cary! Your commish and ex two time champ! Remember me?! You guys like me, right? This might not look like how I would normally write, because I used spell-check, I avoided RAndOm CApiTAlizaTIon, and I had my daughter proof read it and post it for me (my daddy stinks). But it’s really me!

Listen, I can see that none of you are being smart enough to follow my advice about how to run your teams. I’m not sure why, because I once won two championships in a row. You might not have known that, but you should, because it means I can open my mouth and puke all over my keyboard and expect you guys to treat like sage advice! There is only one person who has won 66.666% of the championships in this league, and I am him! Cary! Remember me? You still like me, right!?

So, here’s the scoop people: since you are too stupid to listen to me, I’ve decided I should start using my commish access to make trades on your behalf. You guys just can’t do it yourselves, you’re all kinda stupid. Lots of people (I’m not going to say who though) have told me they think this is a good idea, so I decided to start a poll to see what everyone thinks. So check the box that applies:

[=] If you are smart enough to agree that you are not as smart as me, and I that should run your team for you, check this box

[=] If you are too stupid to agree that I am smarter that you, and you think you are smart enough to run your own team, check this box

So, I imagine everyone will be checking the first box. I also imagine that I have a stable of delicious fantasy baseball studs that everyone should be in a hyper-frenzy over, like...um, like...gee, every since ‘fat kid on a smartie’ got retired I don’t really know how to finish that sentence. Like girls on Cary? YES! Like GIRLS on CARY! Hahaha no seriously, I like girls. I’m totally not gay.

So in closing, I look forward to running your teams for you, and to liberating your superstars and giving them a chance to play for my storied franchise! As my commitment to you all, if I win the World Series this year, as we all expect will happen, I will be increasing next year’s entry fee by $20 so I can afford to buy a much larger trophy for your champion! Yes, rejoice! A grand new trophy for your messiah!

Even though you are all stupid, let’s deal!

Cary